Kiss
Puke
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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