I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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