Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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