i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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