he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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