i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
