yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
