i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
