So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
