he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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