On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
