The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
my poor anus
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
