Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
