Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
