You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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