Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
