There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
