he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
