Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
