goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
