I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
