just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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