So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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