It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
