I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
