Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
