I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize