The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
