That's intense
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize