its not stalking. its research.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
