I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
