road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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