do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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