Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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