I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
