I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
