Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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