the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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