how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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