if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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