and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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