No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
