Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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