So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
