Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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