thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
