Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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