i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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