Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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