She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
