How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
