bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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