Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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