He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
