it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
