just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize