Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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